As CHI began family tracing for the children in the orphanage, we successfully tracked down “Roseline,” the aunt of 4 siblings in our care. She came to visit the kids from time to time, and during that time we learned some of her personal history and built a good relationship with her. She shared that she had become very sick several years ago, but when she recovered, she became eager to see her nieces and nephews. She couldn’t believe how much they had grown and how healthy they were.
More recently, our social workers felt like part of the story was missing. There were enough little clues, like the oldest boy saying, “when is my m-, uh, aunt coming to visit again?” that we became convinced that Roseline was in fact their mother, not aunt. Yet when the kids were placed at the orphanage years ago, we were told their mother had died in the earthquake. Was Roseline hiding something from us?
Last week Roseline visited again. We talked with her about the importance of family, and how we appreciated her showing interest in the lives of the children. Then our social worker asked bluntly, “Why won’t you tell us you’re the mother of the children?”
Roseline was surprised by the question. “What do you mean, ma’am?”
Our social worker decided to push further. “From the first time you visited, I knew you were their mother. I expected that one day you’d trust me enough to say so. We understand your situation. We understand that this has been a difficult choice for you – the death of the children’s father and then your illness – you chose to give your children a better life, even though it cost you your identity as their mother. You pretended to be dead in order to offer life to your children. The gesture was filled with love.”
Roseline then burst into tears. She spent a few minutes catching her breath and said, “I was so sick after their father died. I had nothing to offer them, I couldn’t even feed them. A friend offered to take the children to the orphanage pretending to be their grandmother, and she said she would tell you I was dead to make it easier for the children to be taken in. I returned to Jacmel where I spent several years struggling with the disease. I had to sell everything I had looking for treatment. I thought I was going to die without seeing my children again. By God’s grace I was healed! But when I came back to see my children, I pretended to be their aunt, because we told you their mother was dead.” She couldn’t hold back her tears. She was relieved to be rid of the burden.
We talked further, and one thing was clear: Roseline genuinely wanted to be involved in the lives of her children. We provided her with a phone so she can reach out and stay connected to her kids. There are further assessments and training courses that Rosaline will need to complete before we reunify the children back into her home, but we are excited for the relational healing that has already happened and their future as a loving family unit.
Stories like this one are common – parents in Haiti struggling with poverty make the heartbreaking decision to give their child up to an orphanage, hoping the child will have a chance at a better life. But research consistently confirms the positive impact family care has on children’s growth and development. That’s why in 2017 Child Hope International started our Family Hope Program, focused on reconciling and reunifying children in orphanages with their loving families.